The Ministry of Motherhood, Part 1 – Aby Rinella
Join Yvette Hampton and Aby Rinella in this very real discussion about how important the ministry of motherhood is. Above ALL other ministry, our children and husbands should be our primary ministry.
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“Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, 4 and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.”
Watch the video of this interview (25 minutes) for free on YouTube. Backstage Pass Members can watch the full interview (1-hour) here.
Proverbs 31: 10-12 and 26-30 (ESV)
The Woman Who Fears the Lord
10 An excellent wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.
11 The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.
26She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
27 She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
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Read the full transcript of this episode: (Automated transcript. Spelling and grammar errors are guaranteed)
Yvette Hampton: Hey everyone, this is Yvette Hampton. Welcome back to the Schoolhouse Rocked Podcast. I am on today with my amazing friend Aby Rinella who our family lovingly calls Abinella because why waste time separating the words Aby Rinella? It’s just so much easier to just say Abinella, It really makes a lot more sense.
Aby Rinella: All about efficiency.
Yvette Hampton: Right? As Homeschool moms, it’s what we have to do. We have to really make the best use of our time.
Aby Rinella: That’s awesome.
Yvette Hampton: So, Oh goodness. Well Aby, thank you for being on with me today. I actually texted you this morning and I was like, “Hey, you want to jump on a podcast with me this afternoon?” And we both scrambled to rearrange our day to make this happen. And part of the reason is because both you and I have been talking a whole lot over the last several weeks, but specifically over the last week just about some motherhood things. And the Lord has really put this podcast episode on my heart and so I said, I really feel like we need to record this one and as always you jumped on board with me and so here we are.
Aby Rinella: Here we are because this is an incredible message that I think every woman feels it is this motherhood thing. And we’re in the midst, we’re all busy so we need to be able to sit down and talk about motherhood and priorities of motherhood and what God says motherhood is.
Yvette Hampton: Yeah, that’s right. We’ve titled this when the ministry of motherhood and I want to tell a little bit of my story and give a little bit more insight into my world. Last week I was invited, while I wasn’t invited last week, but several months ago I was invited to an event that took place last week at BJU Press and it was a great event. I loved getting to go and learning more about BJU Press and their ministry there and all the things that they do there. They’re a fantastic organization but the interesting thing that happened while I was there was that for the first time in a really, really long time I was able to step out of my everyday normal, my little box of life and what I just am normally used to.
Yvette Hampton: And the Lord had really been working on my heart for several weeks in regards to some things and so I really want to be vulnerable here and just share it and I know I’ve shared with you, but I just felt like I need to share with my audience, with our audience what God is doing and the things that he is showing me. So it goes back to a few weeks ago. Well, let me back up. Sorry if I seem so scattered here. Most people who listen to this podcast unless they’re brand new to the podcast or to the ministry of Schoolhouse Rocked. They have a little bit of a glimpse into my life and to this ministry that the Lord has called us to and when I say us, I’m talking about my husband Garritt and myself and our two daughters and we’ve spent the last three and a half years of our lives pouring every ounce of our being into the ministry of Schoolhouse Rocked.
Yvette Hampton: We have filmed a movie, we have done this podcast now for a year and a half, we have a blog, we have our social media staff, I mean there’s just so many things that are going on at one time. And we are certain that the Lord has called us to do all of these things and called us to this ministry. And I’ve been feeling for most of those three years that we’ve been doing Schoolhouse Rocked, the ministry of Schoolhouse Rocked I have felt pulled in many different directions. Sometimes more than others, but for the most part I have felt like I am being pulled in a million different directions and there’s just not enough of me to go around. And I know Homeschool moms often feel that because there’s so many things vying for our attention. We’re constantly having people asking us to do things in the name of ministry and we’ve got our family who we need to attend to and we’ve got church responsibilities and we have just so many things going on.
Yvette Hampton: So this has been my world where we have just literally poured everything into this ministry and it’s been amazing. We are so grateful. We pray daily for the ministry of Schoolhouse Rocked. We pray that God would use our family to impact his kingdom in the most amazing way and in the way that he has called us to do it because it’s all for his glory, it’s not for our glory. And in doing so I have found myself completely consumed by ministry and people often ask me how do you do that? How do you work full time and how do you find time to still Homeschool your kids and be a mom and do all of the other things? And I keep saying I don’t know. It just happens, somehow the Lord just brings it all together and he just orchestrates our lives and our schedule.
Yvette Hampton: And at the same time I constantly and we’ve talked about this on the podcast before, I constantly have this feeling of mom guilt like I’m just not doing enough with everything. I feel like I’m failing with my kids, with my husband, with the ministry, with Homeschooling, with everything. Like things are just falling to pieces but there’s a little bit of stickiness holding, kind of post it note kind of sticky. I’m not talking gorilla glue kind of sticky-
Aby Rinella: A little breeze and it’s gone.
Yvette Hampton: Right. Just barely hanging on by a thread. And so it’s been a really hard thing for me to deal with. So several weeks ago a good friend of mine, she sent me a text message and she said, “Hey, I just was thinking about you and I was…” And she’s a veteran Homeschool mom, she Homeschooled all five of her kids. And well actually Connie Alberts, I think you are familiar with her she’s one of the cast members in the movie. She was a speaker for Homegrown Generation and just a sweet friend. And so she just randomly out of the blue, she sent me this text message and she said, “I was thinking about you and I was looking at some pictures of my kids when they were growing up when they were younger.” And she said, “I just wanted to remind you to keep your priorities straight.” And I was like, yeah, I know I need to do that and I feel like I am doing that but why is it so hard? And so she texted me back a little bit later and she’s saying, “I hope that didn’t offend you or hurt your feelings. I just felt like I needed to say that.”
Yvette Hampton: And I was like, “No, that didn’t offend me at all. I’m really glad that you said that and reminded me about that.” And then fast forward a few weeks and a while back Heidi St. John she had a podcast and you and I both listen to her podcast all the time and she was talking about the same thing. And she was talking about ministry and how oftentimes they’ve seen their families just crumble in light of ministry because ministry can take over your life. And when I say ministry, I’m not talking about necessarily that your husband is a pastor or that you are a missionary out on the mission field or any of those things. If you are committed to doing what the Lord has called you to do no matter what that is it’s ministry. Because he’s called us all to some sort of ministry. We can either say yes or we can say no but sometimes we get completely overwhelmed and the ministry takes over our lives.
Yvette Hampton: So anyway, Heidi was doing this podcast and she was answering a question from a mom and basically just said “Don’t allow ministry to consume you and to be to the detriment of your family.” And that again, it was like the Lord just pricked my heart and just was like, “Are you listening? Are you listening to what she’s saying?” And then I think you called me the next day Aby and you were like-
Aby Rinella: And I was like, “Did you hear that?”
Yvette Hampton: You did. And I don’t know if when you called me if you were even like saying that like did you hear that? You really need to be convicted of this thing. I think it was more of a-
Aby Rinella: This is amazing and honestly every woman needs to hear this because I think this is a pull that every… I mean yours more so because you guys are literally in full time ministry with Schoolhouse Rocked but so many moms be it, I’m a Sunday school teacher or I’m organizing the co-op or anything outside of the home. We feel that we feel that. So when we heard that it spoke to all of us.
Yvette Hampton: Yes.
Aby Rinella: So I said, “Did you hear that? I needed to hear that. Did you hear that?”
Yvette Hampton: But when you said that to me it really was even though you didn’t mean it to come across this way, I heard it as you really needed to pay attention to that which I really did. And so again, the Lord just was pressing on my heart and just saying, “You need to listen, you need to pay attention.” And so fast forward a couple of weeks later and I go to attend this event at BJU Press and like I said it was the first time in a very long time that I’ve been able to just pull away from my normal every day bubble and really had a chance to see inside of my world of what we’ve been doing, what the Lord has called us to which are all good things. But in my view, I’m a super visual person. Over the top, I literally visualize everything. Are you like that? Do you have a constant movie going on in your head?
Aby Rinella: No, I can’t shut my mind off but I am a visual person but not to that extent.
Yvette Hampton: Oh man. Oh, what was it recently at this rabbit trail, but recently all of her Facebook people are talking about that some people don’t have an internal dialogue.
Aby Rinella: Yes, I saw that.
Yvette Hampton: I don’t understand that. How is that possible? Because I never stopped talking to myself.
Aby Rinella: I know I don’t either. I wish I could turn it off sometimes.
Yvette Hampton: Right. I never stopped talking to myself and I never ever have a blank slate in my brain. I always have a picture all the time constantly.
Aby Rinella: That’s going. Do you think it’s a Homeschool mom thing too? That we are always talking to herself because I don’t have another grownup all day to talk to so-
Yvette Hampton: No because I did it before I had kids.
Aby Rinella: Oh, there you go.
Yvette Hampton: I’ve just always talked to myself.
Aby Rinella: It’s just constantly. But the visual, that’s interesting that you’re always seeing a visual in your head.
Yvette Hampton: Yes, always.
Aby Rinella: Interesting, visual learner.
Yvette Hampton: I am. I am a visual learner. So as I was removed from my normal situation, I had this visual in my head of my normal every day and what that has looked like for me and for my family is that we all are sitting around a table and this is not imaginary, this is actually what we do. We all sit around this table and Garritt is working and I’m working on my computer and our girls are sitting next to us working and doing school stuff and I mean they go outside and they do things and it’s not like I don’t pay any attention to them at all. But it seems like all the time my girls are saying, “Mom, can you help us with this? Mom can you help us with that? Mom, we need you here.” And I’m like, “I’m sorry I can’t I have to work. I’ve got another email to send, I have another phone call to make, I have another podcast to record. I have to get all the stuff done in the name of Jesus, for ministry.”
Yvette Hampton: And what I realized is that my heart so deeply desires to serve the Lord and I really passionately want to impact this world. I look at what’s going on in our culture, I look at the direction that our world is going for my girls. They’re young and they’ve got a long time left on this earth and I look at the direction that our country is going and that our world is going on and I’m like, “I don’t want that for them, and so I’m going to do everything in my power as long as the Lord allows me to somehow impact people for Christ.” So in my deepest heart’s desire to do that, I have mistakenly put my first ministry off to the side. Not intentionally, but I kept thinking, well, this is what God’s called me to. This is what God’s called me to. He’s called us to do Schoolhouse Rocked. He’s called us to do the movie. He’s called us to the podcast. He’s called us to all of this stuff and it’s so much work and I can’t stop doing this because this is what the Lord has put on our family. All the while forgetting that my first ministry as a mom-
Aby Rinella: Is sitting right there.
Yvette Hampton: Is being with my children. It’s being present with them, it’s engaging with them. It is not putting my hand up one more time and saying, I’m sorry I can’t help you with your math right now or with your science because I have to answer this phone call or I can’t go outside and play ball with you because I need to record a podcast or I can’t play chutes and ladders with you because, because, because, because. In the name of ministry. And so the Lord brought just deep, deep conviction to me and not in the sense that what I was doing was wrong, just in the sense of my priorities were all screwed up but for some reason I couldn’t see it. And so when I went to this event at BJU Press the Lord just really got a hold of me like he hasn’t done in I don’t know how long… I mean in years.
Yvette Hampton: And it was almost kind of like… I’ve talked about this on the podcast when we started Homeschooling, it was like the scales fell from our eyes and we were like, “Oh, this Homeschooling thing, this is amazing.” And it was very much the same in that it was like the Lord just opened my eyes and just said, you’re doing good work, at least attempting to do good work, you’re committed to it but your first ministry needs to be to your family. And so while I was there, while I was at this event I had an opportunity to talk to a couple of friends there and this is happening in real time. I mean the Lord is working in my heart and I’m with these friends and these women who I strongly admire. One of them was Heidi St. John and so I just was like, I don’t know what’s happening but God is putting these things on my heart like right now today.
Yvette Hampton: And it was so neat because I had a chance to sit and talk with Heidi and I just said, “Heidi I don’t know what to do because I feel like I need to just completely flip flop everything around but I don’t know how all this stuff is going to get done for Schoolhouse Rocked if I just placed it off to the side and take over my first ministry which is my family. And not just my girls, but my husband as well because we get to the end of the day and I’ve got nothing left for him and I mean nothing. I’m exhausted. I am mentally, physically, emotionally, completely spent and so as Heidi often does and Connie was also there Heidi said “God is never going to ask you to do ministry to the detriment of your family.”
Aby Rinella: Absolutely.
Yvette Hampton: And that was the moment where I just went, “Ah yes, that’s it. He’s not going to ask me to do this to the detriment of my family.” And so I just continued to pray about that and I came home from that event. I had a three and a half hour car ride home and it was so neat to just be able to just put everything into focus and just see how the Lord means it to be. So I came home and that evening we went for a family walk and the girls were riding their scooters ahead of us and Garritt and I were just walking and talking and I just shared with him everything that was on my heart. And I said, “I just feel like I need to be done.” Not completely done with ministry as a matter of fact, the podcast is the one thing that I’m going to hold on to because that’s easy.
Yvette Hampton: For me it actually doesn’t take very much time. He does all the hard work I just get to sit in front of a microphone for a little while and talk to you and our podcast guests and it’s awesome. But as far as the daily grind of everything else I’ve been doing for Schoolhouse Rocked I just said “I don’t know how this is going to get done but I need to step down.” And one of the things that Heidi said was maybe you guys have been working so hard trying to get this movie off the ground, trying to get through post-production, trying to get it done. Doing all this stuff in the name of ministry so maybe it’s time for you to just step back, let go and allow the Lord to work a miracle and watch him work.
Aby Rinella: Absolutely. And I don’t think it’s that you’re stepping away from the ministry of Schoolhouse Rocked, I think it’s that you’re stepping into the ministry the first ministry that you were called to which is being a wife and mom and allowing God to handle what only God can handle. So it’s not… Yeah you’re stepping in to where God has had you all along.
Yvette Hampton: Yes, right. But somehow I forgot about that I mean-
Aby Rinella: Because we do.
Yvette Hampton: Wow. Yeah.
Aby Rinella: We do. I think as Christian women we look at women of the world and I think sometimes we think oh, they’re so pulled by the world and their careers and their climbing of the ladders and we don’t do that we’re moms we’re stay at… I mean most people listening to this are Homeschool moms. So we’ve already died to those things to step into this role of Homeschool mom but then what we do because we have an enemy that wants to distract us in whatever way he can from our first ministry, is we get distracted by good things. These are good things. All of these secondary ministries, they’re really, really good things but they’re still pulling us from the first ministry. And we think of these admirable things like you said, you want to impact the world that your kids are going to have to live in. But the truth is when we go to the Bible really the world that’s God’s job. Our job is to prepare our kids for the world that they’re going to live in.
Aby Rinella: And we can spin our wheels trying to change the world but if we put out kids that have not had mom and dad they’re going to flail in that world. And when I think of missionaries I always think when you say the word missionary you think someone going into a tribal area that doesn’t even speak English and living in a tent and they’re reaching an unsaved people, that’s really what a missionary is. There is someone that reaches an unsaved community or person and I think when God gives us these children, he’s handing us unsaved children. And it is our job to be missionaries to this little tribe that we’ve been given in our home to speak their tongue and to spend time with them and to immerse ourselves in their world to reach these children for Christ. And so really, we’re missionaries every day and again, we have an enemy that wants to distract us from that with good things that seem good but they pull us from our primary ministry which is our home.
Yvette Hampton: And you said secondary ministry and that’s where I’ve really had it mixed up is that I’ve taken my first ministry of my family and I’ve made that my secondary ministry and I’ve taken Schoolhouse Rocked and made that-
Aby Rinella: Made it your primary.
Yvette Hampton: Primary ministry. And again, not intentionally. I realized that I was doing it butt all along it just felt like but this is what God’s called us to. This is what’s God called… I can’t stop. And one of the things that he really showed me during my time away was we have worked so hard to minister to families and to minister through Schoolhouse Rocked but God does not need me to accomplish his will. Now he uses us. We are his vessels and he uses us and when we’re obedient to him he will open doors for us to be able to serve but he doesn’t need me. And I think all along I keep feeling like well, I need to do these things, the Lord needs me to do this-
Aby Rinella: And if I work hard enough, it will be successful. If I just one more phone call, one more email, one more service, one more… Like for me like one more I don’t know anything because we have lots of women listening to this, but maybe if I take on one more job at church I’m going to make a bigger difference for the kingdom. And we will but not if it’s at the expense of our home.
Yvette Hampton: Exactly. I want to keep talking about this.
Aby Rinella: Yes.
Yvette Hampton: But let’s end this episode, this first part and then let’s continue on. We’re going to do a part two of this and we’re going to continue on with our story. Is that a good cliffhanger?
Aby Rinella: I love that cliffhanger. And I want to dive into some women in the Bible, they were examples of this to us but you’ll never know unless you come back.
Yvette Hampton: And listen to part two of the Schoolhouse Rocked Podcast, the ministry of motherhood.
Aby Rinella: The ministry of motherhood.
Yvette Hampton: Yes. Come back on Wednesday and we will have part two of this story and how God is just moving in my heart.
Aby Rinella: Awesome.
Yvette Hampton: And you guys thank you for listening to this podcast because this really is part of our ministry, part of what God has called us to. Aby and I we’re not getting rich off of this podcast-
Aby Rinella: Nope.
Yvette Hampton: But we are getting rich off of the fact that we know that it is ministering to you. The reviews that we’re getting and the reviews are not so that we can pat ourselves on the back and say, “Oh my goodness, look what a great job we’re doing.” The reviews are such a blessing because we get to hear from you the listeners how this ministry really is having an impact in your lives. And there is just nothing better in light of ministry than to know that you actually are making a difference. And so we would love it-
Aby Rinella: And that we’re in it together. We want the listeners to know we are in the trenches with you guys and it’s good to know that we’re not alone. And so as much as we want to be an encouragement to you, it’s an encouragement to us to know that we’re all in this together.
Yvette Hampton: Yeah, absolutely.
Aby Rinella: We have the same struggles.
Yvette Hampton: Absolutely. We do. So thank you guys for listening. You are such a blessing to us and if you have not left a review for the podcast, we would love for you to do that. It’s kind of a hassle I know but Garritt actually said, let’s put a link in the… We may try to find some link to actually just put on the website or something where people can leave reviews because it’s a little bit complicated to do that on Apple, on the iTunes app and other apps and stuff like that. So anyway… Or just shoot us an email. That’s the other thing is if you want to send us a message you can email me at [email protected] and I will obviously get those because that’s my email address. And so I would love to know how we’re being an encouragement to you, but we will continue on with this conversation. Have a fantastic rest of your day and we’ll see you back here in a couple of days.